May 13, 2021

If I recall the discussions on the Mormon Discussions message board correctly, I wrote about the non-consensual touch that occurred in Idaho and another poster responded to me using the term “assault.” I recall responding and stating that I wasn’t going to use that term. I recall another poster expressing frustration at my statement that I was not going to use the term and even another poster giving an explanation for me as to why I might not.

Please remember, if it isn’t in my post, I didn’t say it. I speak for myself. [To date I am not aware of anyone editing my posts without my consent on Mormon Discussions, but I suppose that’s always a risk. Also keep in mind that I was almost always only skimming on Mormon Discussions since I was there to make a record, not interact with the other posters.]

One of the reasons I can’t get all up-in-arms about that one non-consensual moment in Idaho and focus on it as the extreme horrible thing that happened to me, giving it the term of “assault” and charging forward, is that in comparison to the extreme and very significant harm John has subjected me to, that one moment in Idaho is silly.

People get lost in words. And predators use how lost we get in words to throw out red herrings to protect themselves.

For example, someone like Kwaku will speak for me and use the word “assault” and the next thing we know, John will be using extreme language to defend himself from allegations that weren’t even made by me.

I would much prefer to talk about what’s real. All the male-centered accusation throwing isn’t helpful to the many women who deal with the complexities of being on the receiving end of predations like John’s.